During our most formative years, birth to 3-4 years old, we are totally dependent on others for our well-being, mainly our parents. And because of insecurities that inevitably develop during that time period, we feel even more dependent.
This forms the perspective with which we approach life for the rest of our days. It is a heavy perspective that induces anxiety, fear, frustration, and anger.
There are two parts to freeing yourself from this feeling of dependence. The first is to acknowledge that there are certain things, many things, in life that you can only do if someone invites you or allows you. It just the way things are. A fact of life. Whether it’s getting a job, having a book published, or thousands of other efforts, there are gatekeepers. It has nothing to do with you, so don’t take it personally.
The second part is to be aware that you have everything you need inside yourself to be at peace and happy. Have the attitude that if your effort bears fruit, great; if it doesn’t, that’s ok too. You will be ok, safe, regardless what life throws your way because you have returned home and you will always return home to your true Buddha nature, your heart.
Both of these require that you be in a certain spiritual space. It requires that you free yourself from the control of your ego-mind. And instead turn your will and your life over to the care of your true Buddha nature, which is your divinity. Every time you make an effort, say “God willing,” because you have placed yourself in the hands of your your Buddha nature, your divinity. It requires that you embrace all aspects of your being and experience . . . past, present, and future . . . by practicing The Heart’s Embrace. It requires that you connect with your true Buddha self, which is your heart.
Even if you are in that space only a part of the time, it is a blessing because you will be relaxed and at peace. And as your practice deepens, you will find yourself in that space more often, till at some point it becomes your default way of relating to yourself and the world around you.