1. Buddhist

Joyful Dispassion – Update

Well, things are never as simple as they should be.    There’s a truth that if you use an affirmation that at least part of you can’t say “yes” to,  you end up confirming the very thing you are working against.

And I found that when I affirmed that others will value my work and that books will sell and I will do life coaching, that even after being aware that I used to have that belief in the value of my work and in others finding it of value, and experience of that, the statement of that agent and my experience ever since has created a wall, a barrier, to rediscovering that faith.

So I asked myself,  how do I reclaim that faith.   One answer I thought of was to surround myself with the past evidence of people finding value in my work.   The other was the “Nothing” song from Chorus Line where she sings that her teacher, the one saying negative things about her, was nothing.

And so I did that.   One piece of evidence was especially moving and I sobbed uncontrollably for a few minutes.   

But as cathartic as that was, and a reaffirmation, it didn’t really work.  Also, I thought, what do people do who have not had such evidence of other people valuing their work?

I decided that I needed to give it more time.  It will take repeated acts of imagining my books selling, and people contacting me for life coaching, to breach the barrier that has been erected.

Several weeks have passed now and I find that I feel 100% comfortable now with my manifestations.   It just needed time and perseverance to replace the negative beliefs that had become so powerful with my positive faith in the value of my work and that it will be valued by others.

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