When I was at Shambhala once, someone asked the teacher what to do when everything falls apart. The teacher said that your self, your true Buddha self, will speak to you and say, “You are not alone. I am here to help you. “
Since I do believe that I have a true Buddha self within me, I thought recently why not establish a relationship with my self? Why wait for disaster to strike? Why wait till you want guidance from your true self?
In your self, you truly have a friend. And a friend who will always be there. I never had an imaginary friend as a child, as so many children seem to do. Despite the fact that I was desperately in need of friends, that I was aware that I was not liked by many, I guess I did not even have the imagination that some imaginary person could be my constant companion and friend. Or perhaps I was just lacking in imagination, which I think was more the case.
But that is the past. Although today I feel that I still have little imagination in that sense. So this will be a real challenge, to create a relationship between my true Buddha self (the avatar of which is me as a toddler) and me.
Interestingly, this is related to one of the thoughts I had when I rewrote my childhood narrative. In that narrative I created an imaginary friend to keep me company and play when I was left alone at night.
How do I create a relationship with my true Buddha self? A relationship means that you experience and share things with each other. And so I have started speaking to my true Buddha self, sharing my observations, whether of nature, people, whatever, and my feelings with him.
At some point, my true Buddha self will share its observations and thoughts with me. Although the possibility is strong that he already does this, but I am not aware that he is the source of my own observations. Indeed, if these observations come from my heart and not my ego-mind, then they would be coming from him.
In that event, a major part of the relationship already exists. What it remains for me to do is communicate regularly with my true Buddha self. Make him a presence by my side at all times. That is my intent. I will manifest the presence of my true Buddha self at my side at all times.