Reinventing Mr. Sheen

By Jason Frenn When I saw Charlie Sheen in Wall Street in 1987, I thought to myself, “This actor has … Continued

By Jason Frenn

When I saw Charlie Sheen in Wall Street in 1987, I thought to myself, “This actor has it all. He’s twenty-two, good looking, very talented, and has a promising acting career.” Little did I know that Mr. Sheen carried the seeds of destruction that millions of people carry today. Over the twenty-three years that followed, those seeds have greatly deteriorated his personal life. He’s struggled with substance abuse, addiction to porn, domestic violence and has recently filed for his third divorce. Like many people, he looks somewhat successful on the outside, but on the inside, his internal world needs reinvention.

(In a Aug. 2, 2010 file photo, Charlie Sheen waves as he arrives at the Pitkin County Courthouse in Aspen, Colo., for a hearing in his domestic abuse case.)

Why do so many celebrities slip in and out of rehab these days? Ironically, they see the bad as good and the good as bad. They view destructive patterns as pleasurable and highly desirable, and they see things that are genuinely healthy and meaningful as boring and pointless. In many ways, their minds have been rewired much like the old switchboard operators that connected one caller to another. Their pleasure wires get connected to the self-destruction inputs, and ultimately, they become bonded to the things that they believe bring them pleasure.

So how can people become un-bonded or unstuck?

Let me say that my heart goes out to anyone who wants to change, and it’s this conviction that impresses me to share five things we can do to reinvent our internal world.

First, we can only change if we believe that we have a problem that keeps us in chains. It means the buck stops here, with us. When we take personal responsibility for our decisions, actions, and errors, change is much easier to attain.

Next, we must discover a reason or motive for change that is larger than any excuse or temptation that comes our way. For some, the fear of losing family, career, or even our own life is enough to curve bad behavior. For others, the fear of loss wears off or simply doesn’t work. This brings us to the third and central point of our discussion.

Some people might say, “Religion is a crutch.” That may be true, but God is not. God gives real strength in the midst of the storms of life, and placing our faith in Him is never in vain. God’s desire is that we live life not just survive it on crutches. While there are some people who use their religious expressions as a “get out of jail card”, in most cases, faith in God produces real change in character, integrity, discipline, wisdom, and strength. These are the necessary qualities of anyone who wants to break the destructive patterns in life. Breaking free without God’s help is very difficult.

Fourth, we can break the cycle by learning to redefine what brings us pleasure and what brings us pain. Simply put, it’s reconnecting the wires in our head so that we correctly view what is good, healthy and godly. Obviously, doing so is much easier said than done. Still, one of the ways we can make such a paradigm shift is by intentionally feeding our minds with teachings that are good, godly and healthy.

It’s also worth noting that the individuals with whom we spend time greatly influence the way we think. Surrounding ourselves with people who will pull us up instead of tear us down is another way we can rewire our minds. A wise man once said, “Bad company corrupts good character.” Too many personal battles are lost simply because we choose the wrong friends and engage in activities with the wrong people.

Fifth, reinvention also leads us to live a life of continual forgiveness. When we choose not to forgive those who have offended us, we drink a poison hoping that the other person will die. But it only winds up killing us. Inevitably, lack of forgiveness brings on greater destruction and shortens our lives. Remember, forgiveness is not an emotion. It’s a choice. Choosing to forgive is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and the ones you care about.

I come from a family plagued with dysfunction. Between my three parents, there are nine divorces. I grew up watching alcoholism and other addictions destroy the lives of good people that I love dearly. However, in 1982 we began a wonderful journey that led to a wonderful transformation. If my family can implement the things that I have outlined in this article and make a dynamic change, than so can Mr. Sheen and anyone else who desires to break the cycle!

Jason Frenn is the author of “Power to Reinvent Yourself: How to Break the Destructive Patterns in Your Life.”

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  • Haelie

    Another great article, Jason. Do keep sharing. Our world needs to hear this message of hope. It is never too late for God to change the hearts and lives of people who choose to trust Him.

  • TheProf-

    It is time that American culture recognizes that not all behavior patterns are equal. Some patterns are intrinsically destructive and no amount of moral neutrality should blind us to that. This article deals with behavior without condeming or assigning people to hopelessness. Quite to the contrary. Allmost every truly successful rehabilitation program has at the very core the concept of the power of a Supreme Creator. Good article — good book!

  • debbon66

    I am pleased to see another wonderful article by Jason Frenn. These very principles are what have helped me break my patterns of destruction. God helped me overcome some difficult issues that I struggled with for too many years.I really hope that people who want to change pay attention to this and follow Jason’s advice. I’m so glad I did.I have the book and it has been a wonderful guide–it motivates me to keep moving forward.

  • lindahill46

    The book by Jason Frenn Power to Reinvent yourself is one the most informative and get right to the heart how to change your life. The principles of forgiveness are huge. My heart is full of gratitude and joy for what I have learned in reading this book. Hope is real everyday I see the people in my office without it. Generations of bad behavior can be changed forever. A legacy of goodness is huge in this society today Jason puts how to get there is a way in which brings freedom in a real way. My life is so much more peaceful when my co-workers are spinning out of control in negativity I for the first time am not effected by other people the way I was before I read this book by Jason Frenn. Hope you get a copy and enjoy the adventure of freedom.

  • nnossaman

    Jason Frenn has done it again, so to all of his writings, I’m saying amen. He has such a true message and such a fine way, I am always refreshed by what he has to say. So may God give him wisdom and strength by the hour to continue to speak with his life-changing power.

  • nnossaman

    Poor ol’ Charlie Sheen, if you know what I mean, born with talent, inspired, yet so sadly “miswired”. May he somehow find grace in the strength of God’s love, “reinvent” himself now, become wired from above.Yes, it seems Jason Frenn has done it again, and to all of his words, I am saying “amen”. So may God give him wisdom and strength in this hour to continue to speak with his life-changing power!

  • LinaB

    Great article. With all the bad news that we are showered with daily this uplifting, and hopeful, article is a ray of sunshine. Thanks for printing it!