Should Christians believe in soul mates?

Toby Talbot AP Valentines are posted on a storefront Tuesday, Feb. 14, 2012 in Montpelier, Vt. “Soul mates are people … Continued

Toby Talbot


Valentines are posted on a storefront Tuesday, Feb. 14, 2012 in Montpelier, Vt.

“Soul mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you.”


“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”

-Emily Brontë

Here is a new thought for Christian singles to consider this Valentine’s Day: In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth, and shortly thereafter He created soul mates. No, this is not an actual biblical reference, but allow me to explain why this wonderful kind of love should be seen as something God created for all of us.

The concept of soul mates first appears in Genesis 2:19, “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’” From the beginning, God designed the concept of companionship and created a picture of partnership in the first relationship between Adam and Eve, which is further evidenced throughout Scripture in the lives of Abraham and Sarah; and Mary and Joseph; and many others.

From what I know about God’s mission and everything I read in Scripture, God wants to give His children the desires of our hearts, including companionship. In fact, it was God who placed that longing within us, we know He wants what is best for us and has a plan for us in regards to friendships, dating — and especially, marriage. With marriage often mirroring God’s relationship with the church, why wouldn’t he want the same for His followers?

Should Christians believe that there is only one right person out there for them?

This is an issue that has been heavily debated within the Christian community, often in the context of differentiating between God’s perfect and His permissive will. Sadly, most Christian believers seeking God’s will in their relationships begin with the wrong question, focusing on whom they should date or marry, rather than the critical question of what compatible qualities and values he or she should be seeking in a potential life partner. The issue is finding a “soul” mate, rather than a “sole” mate.

To think there is only one right person for you is a good thought, if you think you have, or will meet that person. But, what happens when years pass and “The One” still hasn’t crossed your path? That view could cause anxiety, fear and doubt.

I believe God does care about each of us with respect to finding our soul mates, and though His design involves just one soul mate at a time, it could involve more than one in a lifetime, if one outlives their spouse.

In the Bible, God tells Adam that, “…it is not good for man to be alone,” but He also provides the institution of marriage as a blessing, not a guarantee. Some individuals do find that one ideal spouse, while others settle on a “soul tie” with an individual, in order to fulfill a need for companionship, security or sex. The latter group often ends up being more alone than their peers who stayed single. Still, some are able to grow a relationship to soul mate status through perseverance and hard work.

I believe the concept of a soul mate is different from the question of whether there is one right person out there for each individual. To me, a soul mate is someone who shares one’s goals and belief system, someone with whom one forms a committed partnership, and ultimately, someone with whom one continues to develop and grow a relationship.

A relationship between soul mates is built on mutual respect, trust and, above all, a solid relationship with God. A soul mate does not come to you in a dream or vision, or even at first sight. Rather, a soul mate relationship is developed over time as one gets acquainted with their spouse and discovers who that person truly is.

While this kind of love and commitment isn’t always portrayed on prime-time television or in Hollywood films, the concept of a soul mate still represents something miraculous and wonderful. It is the kind of love that comes, not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to love an imperfect person unconditionally.

This is the kind of soul mate whom I believe we can all find, with God’s guidance and a little patience. This Valentine’s Day, it is my prayer for Christian singles that they trust God to find a soul mate, rather than search for that elusive sole mate.

Ashley Reccord is the Christian community manager for Spark Networks, and owner and operator of ChristianMingle, one of the top Web sites for Christian singles.

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  • ccnl1

    Soul mates? Yes indeed !!!

    Disease mates? Absolutely not!!!!

    To wit:

    from the CDC-2006:

    “Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) remain a major public health challenge in the United States. While substantial progress has been made in preventing, diagnosing, and treating certain STDs in recent years, CDC estimates that approximately 19 million new infections occur each year, almost half of them among young people ages 15 to 24.1 In addition to the physical and psy-ch-ological consequences of STDs, these diseases also exact a tremendous economic toll. Direct medical costs associated with STDs in the United States are estimated at up to $14.7 billion annually in 2006 dollars.”

  • XVIIHailSkins

    How could the notion that god created woman out of a mere slice of man’s ribs to be his ‘helper’ possibly be construed as a relationship between soul mates? Ladies, sorry to say it but through the lens of christian doctrine it appears to me you don’t have much say in the matter.

  • James210

    I’m going to throw down a heart and pass the hand to e-beth since shells is running the show now.

    Spayed and neutering again?
    yeah, i saw the spectre of christmas past. Nothing like turning up the volume abit with no where to go? Tell the witch racquetball takes the gender out of the equation.

    salamanders or newts? progressive and nothing new. I need to spend 300k and ask the turtle(?) what can i do to help? maybe go back to school and argue with the biologist on natural and unnatural events or providing an easier path to pro-lifigate the spread or consum(e)ing purges?

    shouldn’t nesting, locations be afforded higher priority, then say laziness? or the right to pressure test the stability of the environment. and see, what happens (?) and when the state says, stop rocking the boat? let me tell you my side.

    one of the first questions in the courtroom is, one of mental health, when challenging the right to believe, whether for better or worst in your rights for refusing the take and hoping for god to show up(?). hence leading to the-

    next, dose for the junkie . Bring up the rights or damaging situation of the (turtles) and one is scolded, as trying to change the subject or called aloof, crazy, out of touch. No, impact whatsoever on the situation- atheist-agnostic-judeo courtroom, with a cross for immediate nailings? you are on your own. This is not just? i see you finally found something to write about.

    pull bomb casements out of the woods and they so ,” so what it’s a dud”.
    “but don’t touch it if you see another”, which raises the spectre of why don’t touch it(?) if it’s a dud.
    can we clean them up? Oh i forgot, the state prefers covering up trash in lieu of cleaning things up. Good forensics takes a doctorate.

    let’s finally talk about, cleaning up your own house before, preaching the ministry of “peace”? I’m an embarrassment for having an attending spectre teach me about right and wrong and then showing others? naturally people start to ask questions, which they like

  • James210

    you don’t like me do you?
    long night? personal note to a “friend”, hope she understands.

  • James210

    truisms end at the mind. let’s go home? i agree with your decision, in truth.
    it just took long in my opinion, 5am and no i don’t want to go back, couldn’t get there if i wanted to.
    strobes in the mind and i hear, scaring/scarring from deep injuries prohibit returns to those types of styles? everything seems very shallow and lifeless these day, make sense?

    if i may ask you question.
    don’t you feel that in-citing situations, one creates an atmosphere of class disparity? like if it ever came to a wish list there would be a lot on it?
    does that make sense?

    embellishments are nightmares and, an inability to rectify personal responsibility and, a very expensive way to right wrongs. atonement of forgiveness- doesn’t make sense to me but maybe to someone else.

  • James210

    free speach/speech is a given unless it creates an atmosphere? is my point?
    who’s to blame for what occurs?

    who was it that said, something about defending free speech, voltaire?

  • James210

    free speach/speech is a given unless it creates an atmosphere? is my point?
    who’s to blame for what occurs?

    who was it that said, something about defending free speech, voltaire?

  • James210

    here’s the icing. can’t remember if i typed correctly last night, kind reminds me of who’s driving?
    it’s for the princess who walks the street like an angry woman. my point is, you don’t need to say hello, but your smile can lift up people. is that a responsibility ? you don’t like? just asking,

    6 tbs of flour
    4 sticks imperial margarine
    2cups milk
    2tsps vanilla
    2cups granulated sugar
    paste = flour and milk only, make paste cook over stove until thicken(usually right after boiling) do not let it burn, let cool
    blend sugar and softened margarine and whip until fluffy and creamy, add vanilla, whip some more. the longer you whip the better it is? you can never whip too much?(old family recipe) very bad for your health…
    blend in cooled paste, only whip long enough to blend.
    enough icing for several layers. i’m old school , i don’t do more then 1 layer?

    10000 calories per slice

  • James210

    and for the record,
    where, i come from? if the queen picks up a fork, it’s game on.
    regardless whether the king is seated or not?
    unless of course you are a subject and must wait for the king.
    check with ms manner